So, as it turns out, Mr. Perks was not kidnapped, he was arrested! It seems he had violated some obscure law regarding licensing. For this minor infraction he was forced to endure the indignity of arrest and confinement. But in a classic show of respectful civil disobedience, he did not create any disturbance or lash out irrationally. He did, however, when asked to leave the premises, refuse to move. Yes, Mr. Perks stood firm! Finally, when law enforcement came in to force him off state property, he simply stiffened and held his ground. They had to physically remove him.
The good news, according to informed sources, is that Mr. Perks will be bailed out, pay his fines and fees and be back in place in front of the Capitol by 1:00 p.m. We all await his triumphant return! Yes, he will be there in time to greet lawmakers as they once again gather to attempt to raise your taxes to pay for their habit of growing government.
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